In Your Heart
by FelsGoddess
Summary: The passing of Han Solo not only affects his wife, but his grandchildren.  MMM Challenge- Everyone loses someone they love, it's a fact of life and of loving.


Title: In Your Heart  
Author(s): FelsGoddess  
Timeframe: Sometime in the future  
Characters: Allana, Leia, OCs  
Genre: Mourning  
Keywords: MMM challenge  
Summary: The passing of Han Solo not only affects his wife, but his grandchildren.  
Notes: MMM Challenge- Everyone loses someone they love, it's a fact of life and of loving. Write a vignette exploring the impact of the loss of a loved one on a character.

Thank you to **Jade eyes** for looking over this. 

The private funeral was over. A public memorial would be held in a couple of days. Allana Solo Djo stood on the terrace outside the large living room of her and mother's palace quarters. Her long red hair was twisted into an elegant coil of braids. Her pale blue sea cotton gown was a modest cut, appropriate for a 17-year-old girl. Her face was dry; no signs of her earlier tears marred her pale cheeks.

Light spilled onto the terrace from inside. The night was peaceful. Insects chirped loudly as nocturnal birds called into the night. The sky was clear, allowing the stars to shine down upon the planet. It was beautiful.

Allana did not notice any of this. Her beloved Grandfather Han Solo was dead. He had not died in battle, nor did a disease take him down. The stress of his life simply caught up with his age. He had died sitting in the pilot's chair of the [i]Millennium Falcon.[/i] It was a peaceful, quiet death; one that didn't match his antics in life.

She clutched the railing and bowed her head as the throbbing ache in her heart became harsh and piercing. She had lived with her grandparents for most of her life. They had taught her so much. Closing her eyes, she could almost feel him guiding her unsure hands over the controls of the Falcon. She could almost hear his voice as he told her bedtime stories about princesses and Jedi. She could almost smell the lubricant and spice from his shirt when she would bury her face in his chest after a nightmare. She could almost taste his special Nerf steak.

But she couldn't see him when she opened her eyes. He was gone. Dead. No more.

He wanted to be burned on Hapes, at the same place his sons' bodies were burned. A small portion of his ashes were saved and would be taken to the graveyard of Serpindal to be with his best friend, Chewbacca. Lando Calrissian was seeing to that final act.

A whimper and the sound of small feet caught Allana's attention. She turned and saw her cousins Lillian, Arin and Chace walk onto the terrace. Chace's pale green eyes were filled with tears. He was too little to understand exactly what was going on all.

"I can't feel Grandpa Han," he whimpered. Allana reached out and pulled him closer to her. He buried his face in her skirts. Lillian gave her a tight, grateful smile. Her brown eyes were solemn. Her light brown hair had fallen from its up-do and hung around her face in tangles. At eight years old, Lillian understood what was going on. She pulled Arin to stand next to Allana. Arin's cheeks were tear-stained. He clutched his sister's hand.

Chace pulled on Allana's hand. She leaned down to pick up the small boy. "It'll be okay, Chace."

"But he's not here!" he cried as he touched his heart.

Allana bit her lip. She glanced back to see if any adults were within earshot, but they weren't. She would have to soothe him herself.

"No, he's not. Grandpa Han is gone, but he's up here," she said, gently tapping his temple. "You can see him whenever you want in your head."

The answer seem to quiet him. He narrowed his eyes as if to consider her words. She didn't know how much the four year old would understand.

"She's right, Chace," Lillian said quietly. "Grandpa is still with us."

Allana noticed Arin's eyes cast down to the ground. His Force potential was the weakest of the children. He was skilled, but nowhere near as strong as she or his siblings. Their grandfather had formed a special bond with the boy.

"Arin, he'll always be in your heart," she told him gently. He nodded wordlessly, and turned to stare out into the night air.

"There you are," a voice called. Allana turned to see her Uncle Jag in the doorway. Chace wriggled from her arms and rushed to his father, who picked him up. "It's time to come in."

Allana nodded and they all followed Jag inside. She looked around for her grandmother, but couldn't find her.

"Where is Grandmother?" she asked worriedly.

"She's in her room with your aunt and Luke," Jag told her. Allana nodded her thanks and turned to leave the room. She walked down the hallway until she reached her room. She tore off her dress and threw it to the floor. She yanked a large shirt over her head and collapsed on her bed. She clutched her pillow to her chest as tears rolled down her eyes.

He was gone.

Lillian padded into Allana's room later that night. Her brothers had fallen asleep hours ago. She knew she could go to her parents, but she wanted to see her cousin. Allana was always strong and nice. She looked up to her older cousin.

Lillian pushed her hair out of her face as she quiet opened the door. Allana was curled up on her massive bed. Lillian walked over to the side and carefully poked her arm. "'Lana?"

Allana woke quickly, "Lillian? Is something wrong?"

Lillian looked down and mumbled, "I can't sleep. Can I stay in here with you for awhile?"

"Sure," Allana answered and motioned for Lillian to climb on the bed. Allana snatched a hairbrush off her nightstand. "Let me braid your hair."

Lillian nodded. It was a past time of theirs during times of trouble. She turned so her back faced Allana.

"Are Arin and Chace sleeping?"

"Yeah, Dad put them to bed after we came in," Lillian responded. She barely winced as Allana fought a tangle from her unruly hair.

"Good."

Lillian bit her lip, and then asked, "'Lana, I'm scared. What if Grandma Leia falls asleep and doesn't wake up?"

Allana finished brushing her hair and set the brush down on the bed. "Lily, what's really wrong? He didn't die in his sleep."

Lillian glared. Allana saw right through her. "Grandpa died in his ship."

Allana touched her shoulder and she turned to look at her. "And you're scared that will happen to your mom and dad."

Lillian's lower lip trembled and nodded. "He was in the [i]Falcon[/i] and it didn't keep him alive like he said it would. Mom and Dad say their ships keep them safe when they travel. "

"Lillian, Grandpa was old. He was ready to go. He had lived a long hard life," Allana told her. Lillian thought the words sounded vaguely similar to what Tenel Ka had told them that morning. The words were comforting, though. "Your Mom and Dad aren't old or sick. They'll be fine."

"Are you sure?" Lillian asked. She knew that there was no way Allana could know the future, but she needed someone she trusted to tell her it would be okay.

"Yes," Allana reaffirmed. "Now turn around so I can finish this."

Lillian tilted her head back slightly as Allana plaited her hair into traditional Dathomarian warrior braids. She felt marginally better. Her parents were always traveling.

"There, all done," she said. "Do you want to do mine?"

They switched positions. Lillian brushed out the tangles in Allana's red hair. She began to plait her hair into a thick braid. Leia had taught both girls how to do a variety of braided hairstyles. Lillian's other grandmother, Syal Antilles Fel, had taught her other hairstyles.

"Do you think he found Uncle Anakin and my father?" Allana asked quietly after a few minutes.

Lillian was surprised to hear her cousin sounding unsure. "I bet he found them super fast. He doesn't- didn't- like to wait." Her voice faltered as she corrected herself.

Allana nodded slightly, "I bet your right."

Lillian tied off the braid. She slid off the bed, "Dad said that he didn't think a silly thing like death could stop Grandpa Han."

"Your Dad's right," Allana agreed. She stood up and hugged Lillian. "Now off to bed before your mom comes after you for being out of bed."

Lillian nodded and walked to the door. Before leaving the room, she said, "Thank you, 'Lana. Good night."

"Good night, Lillian."

-  
The moonlight reflected off the puddle of water on the balcony outside Leia's bedroom. After Allana had returned to Hapes to take her place as a Hapan Princess, Han and Leia had split their time between Hapes and Bastion. Tenel Ka had provided them with quarters inside the Fountain Palace. The room was so empty without Han. Jaina and Luke had gone to bed hours ago.

Leia sat on the bench by the door, staring at the sky. The air was humid; a storm was coming. She had lain in bed for hours, Han's pillow clutched to her chest. She'd inhaled his scent, wishing it would calm her. All it did was remind her that he was gone. She'd never imagined Han dying. She knew it would happen, but to actually face it was a whole other matter. He was her other half; her soul mate. He completed her in a way that no other could.

The only person who truly understood was her brother. Luke had been her rock during the entire ordeal. Unlike Mara, who had been taken so suddenly and darkly, Han's demise was much slower. They had all seen it coming, especially him. Han knew he would die. He knew he would die when he boarded the [i]Falcon[/i] days ago. His death was in his own hands, she believed.

She choked on a sob, hands gripping the bench seat. She would never again hear him call her Princess. She'd never see his cocky smirk. She'd never be able to fight with him. She'd never be able to touch him again.

Leia shot off the bench and collapsed against the balcony rail. Tiny raindrops began to fall, causing the puddle to slowly grow. She stared at the water. Clouds were moving through the sky. She could no longer see the reflection of the Hapen moons. That was gone, too.

The rain was warm. It picked up in intensity. She barely noted her soaked clothing. Her long hair fell around her and for the first time, she hated it. She hated how long it had become. Her fingers entwined in the heavy brown locks and she tugged. She welcomed the pain on her scalp. Han had loved her hair. He had loved running his fingers through it, unpinning her braids. He'd messed up many, many hairstyles before she'd been able to exit their bedroom through the years. The fact that he would never touch it again made her want to cut it off.

She pushed herself from the balcony floor with purpose. She slipped, and gripped the railing to keep from falling. She wanted to die. She wanted to join him. She had said as much to Luke, who reminded her that she still had much to live for. Jaina needed her. Her four grandchildren needed her. Her irrational side argued that she needed Han. She needed to see her baby boy, her Anakin. She needed to see Jacen and make things right once again.

A familiar warmth surrounded her. Her eyes closed and she could see his brown eyes staring at her. She could almost feel his breath against her ear as he said, "Don't give up, Princess."

She didn't care if she was imaging him. She didn't care if the Force brought her this gift. All that mattered was that she could hear his voice one last time. It was a gift she would gladly take.

His presence began to pull away. His voice whispered, "I love you."

Leia opened her eyes, a spark mixing with tears, "I know."


End file.
